One Hundred Things ..... Anonymous

 A collection of lists.  Take the challenge. 100 things about yourself. Streaming flow of consciousness, as personal or as general as you care to make it...but make it count. You might learn something about yourself and I promise it's better than 20 questions!





1)    I’m pretty freaked out by the fact that you guessed my middle name on the first try.
2)    My birthday is in May.
3)    My daddy is, has always been and will always be the center of my universe
4)    I have a canopy bed and always feel like a princess in it
5)    This night will forever stick out in my mind [was a blog link no longer exists ]
6)    My most favorite memory from when I was little was when I was 9, my family was fortunate enough to buy a beach house. I was away from home before but never in a new home. That first weekend I couldn't sleep at all. The voice in my head was too loud. The next weekend, my Daddy had recorded the sounds from my room in NYC and played that for me before I slept.
7)    When I hear the word chimmychonga I laugh.  I have no idea other than it’s really funny to me.
8)    My most favorite musician is Madonna.  I love everything there is about her.
9)    My favorite song by her is Frozen.  That song is INTENSE.
10)    You already know my strongest sense is my smell.  I love the smell of oak trees when it’s humid out and I hardly ever get to smell that in the city.
11)    I’m completely and totally scared of the dark…especially walking through a dark area of a house even if someone is home
12)    I have 2 sisters and I’m in the middle. 
13)    M and I fight a lot and she made me cry on Thursday.
14)    My most favorite fruit is pineapple.  My body is a temple and I eat very well.
15)    I still sleep with a stuffed doggy named Ralph.  He has a hard nose and was my first lover *blushing*
16)    I’ve always thought the sound of eating a banana was the same as kissing
17)    I HATE loud chewers to the point where it will ruin my meal
18)    My mom is a loud chewer and I’ve said something thousands of times
19)    I think panties are super sexy…the way they look, the way they feel, the way they …
20)    I punched someone in the face once in HS because she fucked my boyfriend
21)    I’m like 284% Italian
22)    I have very thick hair and get the lower parts ripped out every few weeks
23)    I don’t have a car (haha I just went back to this after reading your blog..now you can see why)
24)    I absolutely love fall fashion
25)    Justin Timberlake has no idea how hard, deep and rough he could fuck me
26)    I still live at home with my family
27)    We have 2 cats and they are brother and sister
28)    I lost my virginity when I was 15
29)    I hate how much time I spend on the internet, but I can't break the habit.
30)    I give great  massages.
31)    I absolutely love sunsets.
32)    I don’t like watching the local news on TV because it’s all about tragedy
33)    I hate all bugs … especially spiders
34)    I hate going to the doctor and hate hospitals
35)    I like right after I go to the dentist and your tongue on the back of your teeth feels as if it’s like a new mouth
36)    I’m  active in helping with gymnastics for the Special Olympics
37)    I've slowly become far more confident in myself. I think it's part of growing up.
38)    I’m not domestic at all
39)    I have a ridiculously hard time picking favorites, favorites of anything. It's all dependent on mood and context.  It’s virtually impossible for me
40)    Aged things really amaze me.  I love to look at an old building and think of how much went on inside there before me.
41)    I have an intense attraction for married people and love to flirt just enough so I know that I’m wanted.
42)    I had a thing with an older man I shouldn’t have and I still think of it because it was just that yum.
43)    That makes me wonder if either my Mom or Daddy ever cheated
44)    I watched both Twin Towers fall with my very own eyes.
45)    In a way it angers me how people say all these things and tributes about 9/11 because I was part of it and they weren’t. 
46)    I love spicy food
47)    I love huskies
48)    I hate runny eggs.  They need to be well done.
49)    I really don’t like eggs *L*
50)    I hate horror/gory movies
51)    I only have my ears pierced
52)    I hate reality TV.  Actually I’m not a big TV person
53)    I twirl my hair a lot.  I’ve been told it’s because I’m always horny.  It’s true
54)    I mainly focus teaching dance to contemporary jazz and urban hip-hop
55)    My older sister has an eating disorder
56)    My Mom and Daddy were HS sweethearts
57)    Online, I’m very submissive to women but dominant towards men
58)    Offline, I show neither side
59)    I’ve always wanted to know how to play the piano
60)    Even though he is physically ugly, I’d probably have sex with Billy Joel because of the sounds he produces with his hands
61)    Wicked is my most favorite play
62)    My most favorite class to teach is beginner classes with 4-6 year old girls.  There are few things so precious.
63)    This summer I had 3 part time jobs – I taught at a camp, taught kickboxing at a gym and had a private student
64)    I don’t like the rain
65)    I drool like crazy when I sleep
66)    I love to make people laugh
67)    I get seasick
68)    I like the smell of my bellybutton
69)    When I was little, I wanted to become I mermaid.
70)    I’m such a people watcher.  I always wonder about their secrets.  Secrets totally fascinate me.
71)    I think I’d be a bad psychologist because of the last one. 
72)    I’m horrible at remembering people’s names
73)    Of course the girl sleeping on the subway that you posted … I notice that you can see her panties.
74)    I had asparagus for dinner and I haven’t peed yet.  I so can’t wait.
75)    I’ve never had sex in a car and really don’t understand why that’s so popular *L*
76)    I absolutely love Forest Gump and think it’s such a beautifully written movie and cry every time I watch it
77)    Vampires are sexy but I’d never let anyone know that
78)    I was once addicted to cocaine
79)    I used to play doctor with one of my cousins
80)    I curse a lot but never around my Mom or Daddy
81)    I’m very paranoid of kissing with morning breath
82)    I LOVE the idea of Post Secret and wonder what my first post would be
83)    I love scallions
84)    I think I look best in jeans
85)    At a wedding or event like that, I’ll get everyone to dance
86)    Jealousy sometimes gets the better of me
87)    When I get sick I’m a miserable bitch to be around
88)    I’m scared of thunderstorms but love them
89)    Most of the time I smell like Cool Citrus Basil from Bath & Bodyworks
90)    I’m really not good and handling bad news and often am the person that makes jokes to cope
91)    Mountain Lions are sexy
92)    I’m very impulsive
93)    When I drink out of a glass a lot of times I bite it
94)    Whenever I see a message from you I whisper in my head – Kitty Kat
95)    I wear super cute PJ’s
96)    I rarely remember my dreams at night
97)    My most favorite holiday is Halloween
98)    When I don’t like someone, I just avoid them.
99)    I donate blood regularly
100)    One of my most intense fantasies that I think about is having a man finish inside my body.  It’s something I’ve never felt and think it’s one of the most personal things that I could feel.

One Hundred Things ..... Anonymous

A collection of lists. Take the challenge. 100 things about yourself. Streaming flow of consciousness, as personal or as general as you care to make it...but make it count. You might learn something about yourself and I promise it's better than 20 questions!

1. I don’t like trying to describe myself.
2. I think I am a better writer than I actually am.
3. Country music calms me and pumps me up at the same time...I LOVE IT!
4. I married by best friend and am a very lucky person.
5. I am often overwhelmed by life.
6. I wish I had more tolerance for people, everyone is going through something and I should be more forgiving in most cases.
7. Someday I want to write a novel.
8. I love going to new places and exploring.
9. I am very proud of my daughter, whether she believes that or not.
10. I am terrified that I failed to do my job as a mom and she will never come back to me.
11. I discovered joy in life through my husband…he opened my eyes to a whole new world.
12. I love redecorating, just wish it wasn’t so expensive!
13. I am able to feel lonely in a room packed with people, in fact that is usually where I feel the most alone.
14. I am an only child.
15. I am thankful to my mother for everything she gave up for me and I am so very sorry for all the heartache I put her through.
16. I didn’t always make the right choices, but all the choices helped to get me where I am today
17. Sometimes my priorities are messed up.
18. I still think about my first love.
19. Self confidence has never come easily, it is a work in progress.
20. I need to lose weight.
21. Clowns terrify me more than spiders.
22. I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up.
23. I LOVE the mountains and will live there someday.
24. I want to sell everything I own and travel around the country.
25. I watch to much mindless television.
26. My favorite is Parenthood.
27. My most favorite movie is White Christmas
28. I am horrible at video games.
29. I must be good at something
30. Everyone has a talent, right?
31. If I were to guess how most people would describe me I would say “beige.”
32. I am afraid of being rejected.
33. I like my job.
34. I don’t love my job.
35. I just saw a guy drive by on a snowmobile with an 8 foot ladder and a shovel.
36. I wish I could see myself the way others see me.
37. I never finished college.
38. I am not sure I want to.
39. I am still afraid of disappointing my mother.
40. I often think about the people who are no longer with me….and I talk to them.
41. The only one responsible for the way I feel is me….but that mean there wasn’t “help” from others.
42. I find all kinds of recipes I want to try, but never do.
43. I am not sure if I never learned how to keep a friend, or if I am just no good at it.
44. My favorite color changes depending on my mood.
45. Generally I like greens.
46. I LOVE tomatoes!
47. I get seasick.
48. I have bad luck with airlines.
49. America’s Funniest Videos can always cheer me up.
50.  I have not met most of my clients
51. Camping is my favorite summer thing.
52. Hope to buy a new camper this year.
53. But we will be using the tent more often this year.
54. I want to quit smoking, but not enough to quit.
55. I like Bud Light.
56. probably too much
57. I prefer little hometown bars.
58. My favorite flower is the lily…such a happy flower!
59. I have brown eyes
60. I don’t really know my natural hair color…..Peggy always gets it close!
61. I wish I could cook like my grandma.
62. I wish she could teach me.
63. Mark Harmon is hot
64. Some people need to be MUCH more open minded.
65. Politicians makes me angry
66. My rational side understands that all the romantic stuff only happens in the movies, but the dreamer side of me still believes it COULD happen
67. I beat myself up when I make a mistake
68. I want to be swept off my feet.
69. Desperately wants to go to Country Jam again
70. I wish I had an eyelash worth of Kathleen’s talent.
71. I am afraid of the water
72. …bridges
73. …heights in general
74. But I try to do things that challenge those fears.
75. I have ridden in a helicopter
76. I have zip lined down a mountain
77. I swam with stingrays…didn’t so much enjoy that one, but I did it!
78. I am proud of my husband for following his dreams.
79. My cell phone rarely rings
80. I love when it rains on a hot humid day.
81. The smell of the rain is relaxing
82. I have one tattoo, but would like more
83. I broke my ankle last spring and now have 2 plates and 7 screws in me
84. What ever happened to Bugs Bunny?
85. I would like to think that someone would miss me when I gone.
86. I think we should all take a step back, slow down and look at how we affect other people.
87. This town is FULL of horrible drivers
88. Some day I want to cruise the ocean in one of those big fancy yachts…or maybe just take a tour of one to see how the “other half” lives.
89. I am doing my best to be an optimistic person….it is a learning process.
90. I have not had a horrible life
91. Life seems to be getting better as I get older
92. …or maybe I am getting better
93. I am all for helping people who are willing to help themselves.
94. I used to be one of them
95. Looking back at this list, it seems as though many different people wrote it….should I be worried?
96. I look forward to seeing my husband at the end of every work day.
97. I will always be a dreamer.  Without dreams and goals, what do we have?
98. I tend to have all kinds of thoughts running through my head, but I can never get them out so they sound like they did in my head (see?!)
99. I am envious of many people for many reasons, but I will always be me.
100. Finished…..until I think of something else.

One Hundred Things ..... Anonymous

A collection of lists. Take the challenge. 100 things about yourself. Streaming flow of consciousness, as personal or as general as you care to make it...but make it count. You might learn something about yourself and I promise it's better than 20 questions!






1. Just want Kathleen Bade to give me a second glance.

2. I long for the Upper Midwest but live in Ohio – live through siblings all over the North Country – visit often.

3. I have been alone for 17 years personally, but am always surrounded by people. Anyone with me would have to understand that we have no privacy, but we can be wonderful to everyone.

4. I started on TV when I was 17, this will be my 45th year doing what I love – weather on TV – it is a hobby and I am never bored.

5. My God reason for being an exposed person is to be the person anyone can come too when they have a problem. No matter what, I will help.

6. I rescued a total stranger with cerebral palsy from a nursing home and put him into his own apartment and gave him a life until he died last year. For a decade I was his only family.

7. Work janitor could not get to work – I got him a car.

8. An abused woman stranger came to me and I gave her money for plastic surgery.

9. Woman and son lost job. Was going to be evicted – I kept them in their house until she got back on her feet.

10. No one knows even a fraction of what I do quietly, so it is God driven that people come to me.

11. My house would not be for entertaining adults. Every room has trains, toys, dinosaurs in elaborate layouts for my grandchildren to play with.

12. I have a hockey rink in my yard.

13. I have a snow making machine to make snow since it is my first love as a kid – now. I am a failure if I do not have 20 feet of snow at my house in a winter, haha.

14. I love to snow ski, dog sled, play hockey and never watch TV even though I am on it – want to be active every minute.

15. I have two daughters 5 grandchildren 2 dogs and 2 cats – only the 4 legged ones live with me.

16. I grew up in Iowa, retain the simple decent qualities of the Midwest.

17. My hair is still mostly black – thank you dad.

18. I do not whine.

19. I do not blame others for anything that happens to me.

20. I see the good in everyone.

21. I’m the uncle all the nieces and nephews want to see and go on vacation with.

22. I am a good judge of character.

23. I was in the Army – helicopter unit - #1 marksman Spirit and Honor Medal

24. I graduated with degrees in college in Math, Climate, Speech

25. I have taught 6-7-8 science and math just to fill my days while working on TV.

26. I am an actor.

27. This would be my 20th season in the outdoor drama TECUMSEH this summer.

28. I am with SHADOWBOX LIVE a sketch comedy, rock and roll troupe 9 months out of the year.

29. I am in the AP Broadcast Hall of Fame.

30. I have been voted favorite television personality in Columbus since the early 1980s EVERY YEAR – Columbus Monthly.

31. I am not an egocentric person so this is a very hard list for me to do.

32. If Kathleen Bade would find time to talk to me, she would not be disappointed.

33. My reading is almost exclusively science or history related.

34. I watch for shooting stars almost every night the sky is clear.

35. A fire will mesmerize me.

36. I talk to myself all the time.

37. My favorite moment is when I fall into bed after midnight every night.

38. I believe aliens did land in Roswell, New Mexico – one cat is named Roswell, other is Drizzle.

39. I believe the next life – dimension – is right next to ours, just out of our eye vision.

40. I believe that those on the other side do give us signs if we are quiet, sensitive, aware.

41. I cry.

42. I laugh more.

43. I can relate to people down and out, I had a drug problem 25 years ago. Have walked that line.

44. I miss my father, he has been gone 10 years.

45. My 85 year old mother still teaches aerobics.

46. I am close to my family.

47. I love doughnuts.

48. I love Ovaltine.

49. I do not drink alcohol.

50. Why are a lot of my closest friends owners of restaurants?

51. I used to bowl and play softball.

52. I miss bowling and softball.

53. I could be passionate – still waiting on that one special woman – I think it is you.

54. Don’t ask me how I know – I do.

55. I do not kiss and tell.

56. I have a good relationship with me ex and her husband, they visit my house.

57. I have no enemies.

58. I go to church.

59. Duluth, Minnesota and Dubuque, Iowa are my favorite towns.

60. My TV station sends me on trips with viewers every year – my love of it is still questionable, places fantastic.

61. I spent 10 days on a working ore freighter – Edgar Speer, out of Two Harbors MN to help them understand weather/shipping.

62. I am fascinated by the Edmund Fitzgerald.

63. Superior is my favorite lake.

64. I am going to Hawaii in two months for 10 days.

65. I was in the Canadian Rockies last summer.

66. I love Austria and Switzerland and the mountains there.

67. My dog, Penny C, is a pug/chihuahia and she loves me.

68. My dog, Sammie C, is a golden retriever; he is food motivated.

69. I never date a co-worker.

70. I rarely date viewers who seek me out – not sure of their motives.

71. Like to keep some of me private.

72. I love toy trains, Lionel, every since I was little.

73. Christmas and snow make me glow.

74. I love autumn leaves and crisp air.

75. I love walking at midnight in August when crickets, cicadas, and others chirp up a loud storm.

76. Worst day of my year is day to take down the ice rink for the season.

77. Best day is putting it up.

78. I drive a Buick – does that make me old.

79. I like shuffleboard – that does make me seem old for sure.

80. I would not disappoint Kathleen Bade – she would rethink some of her list if she knew me.

81. We only see 72 days of blue skies where I live.

82. I also do forensic work when weather is involved in court cases.

83. Yes even murder trials and arson against the mob trials.

84. My name and phone number is still listed in the phone book.

85. But I have a concealed carry permit.

86. I like to grow watermelon and pumpkins – takes no effort for a big reward.

87. Howling wolf in the woods of northern Wisconsin is special.

88. I want to see a live bear in the woods sometime.

89. I have coyotes, fox, deer where I live.

90. I once killed a rattlesnake when rock climbing in the Army – no other way to not get bit – noosed it with wire.

91. Still feel bad about it, never would hurt an animal.

92. My cat Drizzle is smarter than me, and more cunning.

93. I have 3 brothers and 3 sisters.

94. I dream of climbing Everest – would settle for Ranier.

95. I wished I knew other languages.

96. I work from noon to midnight = little social life.

97. I am not quite the man my father was still.

98. I am 62, look like I’m in my 40s, act like I am in my 20s for activity.

99. Almost last chance for Hurricane Kate to notice me.

100. Kate sometimes fleeting glimpses do tell much and do open your eyes.

One Hundred Things ..... Anonymous

A collection of lists. Take the challenge. 100 things about yourself. Streaming flow of consciousness, as personal or as general as you care to make it...but make it count. You might learn something about yourself and I promise it's better than 20 questions!





1. I have been living below the poverty line for several years.
2. I have been looking for cashmere sweaters on mark down for several years.
3. Today I bought three lovely cashmere sweaters, cheap! I am wearing one now, and it feels lovely.
4. I tend to be unsympathetic when people tell me they suffer from depression. I do not tell them I am unsympathetic. I do not see depression the way it is currently viewed. I do try to cheer them up, but I refuse to “feel their pain” when they say there is nothing wrong but depression. Own up to it, or walk away from it. Don’t just dawdle there full of self pity.
5. I love to smile, and to be smiled at.
6. I am totally in love with my daughter. I have been ever since the day I was giving her a bath and she didn’t want me to wash her hair. She wasn’t talking yet, but she tried anyway. She stood up in the tub, put her hands on my cheeks, and holding my face in her tiny hands and looking me straight in the eye, she babbled at me in a stern voice. I knew she was telling me that the way I was washing her hair was unacceptable. To this day she still hates for water to get on hair face while she is washing her hair. BTW, to wash a child’s hair w/o getting water on their face, use a wet washcloth.
7. People tend to think I eat weird food. I think they do.
8. I do not want another pet because I am longing for freedom, for travel, for not taking care of another anything or anybody.
9. I was fearless when I was young.
10. I am very honest, and was fearless with my honesty when I was young.
11. I have learned to be afraid of telling the truth.
12. I miss it.
13. I jumped out of an airplane at 10,000 feet. The freefall was amazing. I didn’t care for it when the chute opened and stopped the fall. Floating down was fine, but jumping out and falling was the best part.
14. I have known people to do horrible things, yet I still believe that each of us contains the very best of all things. I do not believe in evil, as in I do not believe that there is something in one that is not in another. And I do not say this lightly. Tell me of the most horrible act by the most horrible person, and I will say that we are all equal.
15. I do believe it is of immense value to do our best to be kind, and help others, and avoid harming others.
16. I love people. It seems ever so much easier to do well from a distance.
17. The thing that I resent about being a mother is that I feel like I am no fun now, not in the way that I was before I became a mother.
18. I never wanted to be a single mom. I resent that too.
19. I never thought my husband would cheat on me. It was one thing that I knew for sure.
20. I am an adoptive mother, yet I did not seek my daughter, she came to me.
21. I think I express myself best in writing.
22. I cry easily.
23. I yell, even though I think it is the wrong way.
24. I used to hit when I was mad.
25. Before I started hitting when I was angry, I was hit by others when they were angry.
26. It felt powerful good when I hit instead of being hit.
27. This is starting to read like therapy. Fair warning, it might get worse.
28. I love dry, dark humor.
29. I also love dark chocolate.
30. Men? I dunno. Sometimes I wish I wasn’t heterosexual.
31. I love women, but I am not quite bi. I do think women are generally better looking than men. I would like to live in a society where women hold hands and snuggle. And there are societies like that. If it was acceptable, I would love up lots of people in that way. Not sex, just physical expressions of love.
32. I do miss sex. I have only had sex a couple times in the last five years, and none at all in a very long time.
33. I am starting menopause.
34. I am GLBT friendly, but will not date men who cross dress.
35. I like ritual.
36. I have studied many, many subjects, formally and informally.
37. I am a clutter bug, but I love clean.
38. I love good sheets, feather pillows, and high end mattresses.
39. I love to travel.
40. I can enjoy dives just as much as posh places.
41. I was arrested on a felony charge. Aggravated assault/assault with a deadly weapon. It was self defense. It was in a bar. The guy was making me leave with him, and no one would stop him, even though I was asking for help. He was someone I knew, but not someone I wanted to leave with. He was big time bad news. I busted his head open with a glass, left handed even, cause that was my only opportunity. The bartender called the police; I waited for them, figured it was the lesser of two evils. The guy dropped the charges on Monday, after I sat in jail all weekend.
42. When I was a child, I loved to run. I was sure I could fly if I just ran fast enough.
43. I had terrible nightmares as a child.
44. I sucked my thumb until about 2nd grade.
45. I want to see Thailand, Greece, Italy, Africa, and jungles, rainforests, and India, and Guatemala, and...
46. I only look like a white girl. I do not feel like a white person. I am not exactly prejudiced against white people, but they kinda scare me in general. And I often feel like I am an imposter around them. And I feel like a wanna-be around ethnic people. I am a woman without a tribe.
47. I dream of winning the lottery. Really. I would not be surprised if it happened. I am often slightly surprised when it doesn’t.
48. I think I could love again, and believe I would love well given another chance. But I don’t fall in love easily these days.
49. I never thought I would get this old.
50. Things are good. Life is peaceful, and I am safe. The only things that threaten me are the demons of my past.
51. I have agreed to start seeing a psychotherapist. This is hard for me, because as you might remember, I don’t much believe in whining.
52. The main reason I decided to is because I realized I do not have all the tools I need to raise my daughter at this stage of her life.
53. I cried all day yesterday. I cried because I realized that both of my parents had failed to protect me when they should have. I always blamed my mother, and idolized my father. Yesterday I realized that he should have not gotten me a fake id when I was underage, and that when I told him I was working at a peepshow, he should have told me to stop.
54. I am afraid that if I think about it too long, remember too much, talk about the facts of the matter, that I will have to conclude that I was never loved the way I love my daughter.
55. I am crying now.
56. I am a spiritual person. God has spoken to me throughout my life. His advice is always sound. I do not believe in a traditional God, but I know the Divine. And I still call it God. I am confounded that others do not hear God.
57. I would like to help other people find the peace I have at times.
58. There are so many things I want to do in this world it is hard to know where to start, what to give my attention to. I tend to do what is in front of me.
59. My daughter is beginning puberty. I hope I am past the worst of my mood swings before she begins the worst of hers.
60. I love to feed others good food.
61. I think soup can be beautiful. Or a simple salad, or bread.
62. I like it when others feed me. My neighbors sent over casserole yesterday, and somebody shoveled my front walk today. Those things make me feel loved.
63. Awhile ago I realized it was no longer appropriate to donate money to charities when I needed charity. So I made a decision that I would not put money in the church plate, and I would cancel my “sister” that I supported monthly, and ignore all formal charity requests. But I also decided that I would refuse no personal requests for help. Interesting the people who have showed up in my life, asking for anything from three dollars to two eggs, or to use the phone. It has felt good to always say yes. It has also been a practice in non judgment to always say yes.
64. I love deviled eggs.
65. I love to play.
66. I like to drink tequila straight, if I am drinking seriously, which I don’t do often.
67. I love the water.
68. I love flying.
69. I have flown an ultra light, cut the engine, and glided into a desert sunset with only the sound of air moving past me.
70. My favorite memory of Jamaica is the snorkel guide who dived to the bottom and then popped up next to me to surprise me with a sea urchin on top of his dreadlocks.
71. I learned to scuba dive in Mexico.
72. My family is hard to trust.
73. I love them, even when I avoid them.
74. My mother is exceptionally smart, as are many of my siblings.
75. My mother was raped as a child. She was younger than my daughter is now.
76. I was turned out by a trick when I was a child. Maybe you don’t know what this means. “Turned out” refers to how one was convinced to begin in prostitution. It often is a reference to what a pimp does to a girl to start her in the life. “Trick” refers to a man who supports and promotes the sex trade because he seeks girls to pay for sex. And “child” means it was illegal. I spent the money on food and stuff for Mom. She did ask where I got it. I did tell her some guy paid me 50 dollars for a massage.(And that was what he called it, and what he told me to do at first, and then told me/taught me/coaxed me to finish with a hand job). She did not give any further feedback, just a grocery list.
77. I first tried cocaine when I was about 14. I became addicted by 18, and did not quit until I was 25.
78. I did not run away from home. My mother dropped me off at a school friend’s house and then was unable to be reached for a very long time.
79. I was a good kid, eager to please. Unfortunately, the things that pleased others were not good for me.
80. The first street drugs I tried were from my mother’s top dresser drawer.
81. I want to be a good mother.
82. I feel like this is getting whiny, and want to rewrite. I will just change subjects.
83. I love people. I think they are beautiful. I think I can often see their Divine Essence shining thru.
84. I have had dreams of people close to me as they were passing over. It’s nothing to be afraid of.
85. I am sure that death will be a cakewalk. Maybe that’s not the word I want. Piece of cake? Well, sweet and easy is what I am getting at.
86. I overeat, and am holding the line between overweight and obese. I don’t like being fat.
87. If I had a lover, I would slim down without even trying.
88. I like to garden, to plant seeds, to tend and nurture, to harvest, and to put up the bounty that is reaped. I like to open those jars full of summer on a cold winter day. I like to share the deliciousness with my friends and neighbors.
89. Life is a miracle, yet still I am prochoice.
90. When I win the lottery, I will have a personal masseuse.
91. When I was seven, I was reading the Chronicles of Narnia, at nine, Piers Anthony. By eleven, Kahlil Gibran.
92. I love to read.
93. I read more nonfiction then fiction these days.
94. I love music, especially live.
95. I love marching bands. When I win the lottery, I will hire a marching band for my birthday every year.
96. In seventh grade, in gymnastics, my teacher scored my floor routine a 10. It felt so good.
97. I was a tomboy, always outside, climbing, running, jumping.
98. I hated becoming a girl as a young teen.
99. I am always growing, learning, and changing.
100. I believe that we all emerged from one divine essence, that we all remain a part of one divine essence, and we will all return to one divine essence.