Saturday, December 11, 2010

One Hundred Things .... Linda

A collection of lists. Take the challenge. 100 things about yourself. Streaming flow of consciousness, as personal or as general as you care to make it...but make it count. You might learn something about yourself and I promise it's better than 20 questions!

1. I am an Aquarius and amethyst is my birthstone.

2. I knit, crochet, sew.

3. I have two published poems (online at, so does that count since it's a self-publish site?)

4. I was unfaithful in my first marriage.

5. I have been faithful in my second marriage.

6. Yes, maturity and the men made a difference.

7. I was molested as a child.

8. As a result of #7, many of the problems in my 1st marriage had a direct correlation.

9. As a result of #8, counseling helped me see that and I changed lots of things that needed fixing inside me.

10. I am currently enjoying two renewed friendships with girls I went to school with as kids.

11. My oldest adult best friendship is 20 years in the making. Thanks for your patience, Patti.

12. I count few people as friends. Trust issues. Yeah, #7 again.

13. My husband is 9 years older than me. And, he's only 29! Last year we celebrated his 25th anniversary of that birthday.

14. I sometimes feel like I've wasted my intelligence. I never finished college. Dropped out after two years to get married.

15. My first marriage was to my high school sweetheart. Started dating at 16 and married at 21. Divorced at 36. It was my escape from home and he stuck around when no other boys would. Yeah, you can thank the brother that molested me for being the thug that threatened everyone else away. I figured no one else would ever love me or ask me to marry them. Funny how twisted your thinking becomes when you're running from that kind of shit.

16. I don't regret my 1st marriage. I got my two kids from it. One girl. One boy.

17. I became a grandmother early. Two months before my daughter's 16th birthday, she gave me a granddaughter that I cherish.

18. My ambition as a child - to be a good wife and mother. I accomplished both (even if the wife part came second time around).

19. No one can blame me more than I blame myself for anything.

20. I graduated 9th out of 320-some in my high school class. It means nothing.

21. I've been a bookkeeper/office administrator on and off for the past 25 years with a stint in retail prior to that. When I wasn't, I was home raising kids.

22. I can add upside-down faster than an ex-boss could on his calculator. It freaked him out and he would challenge me to see if I could get the right answer. The business was selling multi-million dollar power and process equipment, so the numbers were usually quite big. He rarely won.

23. I was once accused of making up a word. Mellifluous. I have a large vocabulary. Excuse me, Tom, if you do not.

24. I don't do recreational/illegal drugs. Ever. Never have.

25. I grew up in a household with addicts and dealers.

26. I have panic attacks occassionally. And why yes, that movie on the TV with the booming explosions can set off an attack, TYVM.

27. I weigh twice what I weighed in high school.

28. I do not have high cholesterol, high blood pressure, or diabetes.

29. I am a realist with a tendency toward pessimism.

30. I can and will argue both sides in the same argument.

31. I once told my current husband he shouldn't get used to dating me (about a month into dating him) because he reminded me too much of my father and I didn't want to date my father. We've been together for 10 yrs and married 5 of those. He's says he's still not used to it.

32. I eat lots of chicken and pasta. Little red meat or fish. Fresh vegetables in a salad are great. Cooked veggies are not my friend and I won't eat them.

33. Spicy is best.

34. I like to cook, but hate coming up with a menu night after night.

35. I rarely drink. When I do, it cannot taste like alcohol.

36. Chocolate....mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm....

37. I love to sing. I'm not bad. The one-time Dean of Music at a local university told me I have a lovely voice. But I don't Karaoke. Scares the crap out of me. See #26.

38. I have two dogs. Cats are ok, but no snakes or spiders. Uck!

39. My secret desire is to live in Ireland.

40. I have been to Ireland twice.

41. I have been to Vegas - once was enough.

42. Cake is only the vehicle by which to get the frosting into my body.

43. Cheesecake on my birthday is preferred.

44. My daughter has her Bachelors Degree in Interior Design. Yes, this is the same daughter who gave birth at 15 and has a 7 year old daughter. Beaming pride here.

45. Same daughter was nearly killed by a drunk driver in February 2009, who slammed into the car she was in with her boyfriend. They were driving home from his parents home. The other car was at 100% acceleration and going somewhere between 100 and 130 MPH at contact. Three people in the drunk driver's car were killed, including the driver himself. Airbags save lives. Sara and Joe lived. No brain injuries. Broken bones, a collapsed lung, nicked spleen, three weeks in the hospital but they lived. The hardest day of my life was taking my granddaughter in to see her mother broken in the hospital.

46. The second hardest day of my life was taking my son to court ordered residential rehab at age 16 where he stayed for 7 months.

47. The third hardest day of my life was taking same son to a group home the day I turned custody over to the state when he was 17, because he was so out of control I couldn't take care for him anymore.

48. I am crying right now having written those last three.

49. At 18 1/2 now, son is figuring it out. He's come a long way in the past year.

50. I am at peace in the mountains of northern New Hampshire where we own property.

51. I like to swim in fresh water.

52. I have lived within 1/2 hour of the Atlantic Ocean for more than 20 years and have only ever waded in up to my knees. I do not like salt water.

53. I am not a "beach" girl, unless it's after 5:00 and the sun won't burn me into a lobster.

54. Even high number sunscreen does not keep me from burning within 10 minutes on a bad sun day.

55. I am 1/8 Irish and it is the heritage I identify with the most.

56. I believe in past lives and am a healthy skeptic of the paranormal.

57. I am #7 of 8 children.

58. My oldest sister died of a rare blood disorder when I was 11. I still talk to her sometimes.

59. My father passed when I was 19. I still talk to him too.

60. My nightmares always include the house I grew up in and my brother in some context.

61. I've worked hard to be the woman I am today. I like me.

62. I like games - board games, card games - but I rarely play.

63. My fondest memories growing up were going to flea markets on the weekend with my mom.

64. I was horribly ashamed of my home growing up so rarely had friends over. I always went to their homes. As an adult who has done work to heal myself, I realize now that was all tied into my shame and need for escape. See #7.

65. I dislike bible bangers. I don't believe in organized religion. If I had to classify myself, I'd have to say agnostic. I have not explored other belief systems. I have no desire to.

66. We will all die some day. It is a given. That is why I eat chocolate. I will die happy having eaten chocolate. I will not die happy having eaten cooked vegetables.

67. I have a difficult time with stupidity.

68. Do not lie to me. It will not be pretty.

69. I am a 3 a.m. friend. If you need me, I will be there.

70. I love babies. You can have them back from age 4 til 20.

71. Please do not vomit in front of me. It will make me do the same, then you will have twice as much to clean up.

72. I found I can get by with only 20 hours of sleep over 7 days if necessary and it isn't be the best way to lose 20 lbs either. See #45.

73. I love my husband. Very, very much.

74. I have two step-kids. One boy, one girl.

75. I am a smart-ass. If you don't like me because of that, your loss.

76. When I watch TV, it's usually whatever my husband has on (can you say sports?). If I watch by myself, it's one of the shows on TLC, Discovery or the Biography channel.

77. I like to read; suspense normally, every now and then a romance.

78. I like taking drives in the country.

79. I hate crowds. They make me feel claustrophobic. So does rush hour traffic.

80. I do not like heights. I never realized how much I do not like heights until I was on the top of a mountain in Lake Placid, NY with my sister. The hike down was a welcome relief.

81. I can do the outer trail at Cannon Mountain (summit over 5,200 ft), with the sheer drop-off along trailside, so long as I use my hand as a blinder to that side and cling to the opposite side of the trail. I will panic if anyone is too close to the edge. Anyone. It is irrational,I know.

82. I would like to go back to college, but do not want to start a "career" at my age.

83. My sense of humor is very dry and sly, to the point that many people think I have none whatsoever. I just rarely find humor in slapstick.

84. I listen to country music.

85. I believe in abortion, but not as a means of regular birth control.

86. Test results revealed I do not carry the genetic markers for breast/ovarian cancer. My mother had breast cancer and a radical mastectomy three years before I born. It was a concern of mine.

87. My one acquiescence to vanity is coloring away my gray. I rarely wear makeup or paint my nails.

88. I do not understand Brazilian waxing. But then, I don't particularly want anyone poking around down there besides my OB/GYN or my husband.

89. At age 45 and 230 lbs, I taught my granddaughter (age 6 at the time) how to do a cartwheel. Yeah! I got my fat ass over and landed it!

90. I haven't said anything nasty about my ex-husband in this list. And it hasn't been easy to refrain.

91. Most people think I'm a bitch or a snob, because I don't open up well at first. I am working on that. But it does help to weed out those that won't stick around long enough to get to know me anyway.

92. I shop Walmart. That does not mean I do not have class.

93. I like Celine Dion and own most of her cds.

94. I met my husband online through a mutual friend in a local chatroom. The group would also meet up in "real life", outside of the online chat, to do things, so we really all knew each other. His daughter went to school with her daughter. Thanks, Cathy, for vouching for him.

95. Ten years later, I still remember our first date. He came over to my house to watch George Bush accept the presidential election to office in December of 2000. The year of the hanging chads in Florida and the election outcome was hanging (pun intended) on for 6 weeks while they hand-counted votes to see who won the Presidency.

96. Everyone makes mistakes. Learn from them. Try not to repeat them. And accept your own responsibility for them. I've tried to teach my children this and live by it.

97. I don't like to wear shoes. I do not have them on at home ever. I've been known to take them off and walk around the office in my bare feet too. Thankfully, I've only ever worked for small businesses where I could do that.

98. Crocs may not be stylish, but they are the most comfortable thing anyone could possibly put on their feet. Yes, I own 3 pair (knock-offs, as I rarely wear "branded" clothing).

99. I let my hair grow when I got divorced. Up until 2000, I wore it boy-cut short. I wear it halfway down my back now. Radical difference! Ponytails are my friend.

100. And I'm anal. I just went back to read through this and fix any typos.

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